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Subject: Long distance love...
Replies: 28 Views: 2351
ilovejes 24.12.08 - 04:57pm
How do u cope ur loved one being far... How do u keep the love alive... *
sonja_tg 26.12.08 - 07:54am
by phone and writing letters.
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:09am
We must distinghuise between the various types of long distance relationships of today.
Being in a long distance relationship isn't easy. It requires very strong trust, commitment, guidelines, and communication. Studies show that a majority of people involved in long distance relationships eventually break up. That's why you see so many experts proclaiming that long distance relationships are a bad idea and don't work. Yet if you learn to master communication and set the parameters of your relationship, it can work. It's an uphill battle, but it is possible, and many people do eventually become happily married as a result of being in a long distance relationship.
A long distance relationship will be difficult and requires a strong commitment between you and your partner. The following 10 long distance relationship tips will go a long way to help you achieve a lasting love. Here they are: *
oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:14am
1) Establish the relationship rules and parameters.
In a study of long distance relationships, Dr. Greg Guldner found that 70% of couples in a long distance relationship who did not set rules, or deal with changes, ended up breaking up within six months. This means that it is vital that you and your partner set rules and parameters to guide your long distance relationship. This includes an agreement that you will not date others, that you will communicate daily, and that you'll see each other at least once every 2-3 months in person.
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:16am
2) Communicate Every Single Day.
Part of a successful long distance relationship is being able to emulate patterns found in regular relationships. One of these patterns is daily communication. The evolution of the Internet is godsend for people who are in long distance relationships. Not only can you communicate via email and instant messaging for free, but you can also talk to each other through free services like Prodigits. And that means no more 500 a month phone bills!
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:17am
3) Express Your Feelings
Learning to express your feelings to your long distance partner in email, IM, and on the phone is important for the growth and stability of your relationship. One of the ways it increases your relationship stability is by providing reassurance to the other person about your commitment to him/her. When you express your feelings, you are letting your partner know that you are committed to making the relationship work. *
oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:21am
4) Send Care Packages
Every once in awhile prepare and send your long distance relationship partner a care package. Here are several things you might consider putting in the package (not all at once, of course; pace yourself and your gifts):
Books Phone Card Hershey's Hugs
Music Video Message Hershey's Kisses
Puzzle Sweets Real Rose
Card Stuffed Animal Preserved Rose
Holiday Items Bottled Message Chocolate Rose
Pressed Flower Pictures of You Engraved Rose
Gift Card Jewelry Key to Your Heart
Bubble Bath Movie Ticket Personalized Poem
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:22am
The more personalized you can make the gifts, the bigger impact it will have when received. For example, when send some pictures of you, hold a sign in one of the pictures that says I love you, ____ (of course yours will have a name in it, not a blank line). When sending a book, make sure the book is on something your partner is passionate about and write him/her a little note on the inside cover. Do this every time you send a book. If you send music, write something specific about a song or two that makes you think of him/her. Go to the M&Ms Website and order personalized M&Ms. Even puzzles can be customized as many places now sell make your own puzzle kits. Call up a spa in his/her area and buy a certificate that the spa will mail you then you will mail to your partner!
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:24am
The more personalized and creative you can be, the more impressed your partner will be at your thoughtfulness. *
oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:26am
5) Spend Time Together While Apart
Even though your partner may live hours away, you can still experience date nights with him/her. For example, let's say you are both interested in seeing the latest blockbuster movie. Plan to go at the exact same time (coordinate your time zones) to see the movie then when it is over call each other to discuss it. It's fun knowing that your partner is doing the exact same thing as you at the exact same time. Even though you're apart, you're still sharing a moment together. *
oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:28am
6) Never Make Assumptions
Always be clear about your relationship with each other. Don't assume that your long-distance partner knows your feelings - share them. Good or bad, be clear about how you feel about the relationship. Assumptions kill many relationships, while clear communication helps relationships succeed. Perhaps Henry Winkler put it best when he said, assumptions are the termites of relationships. Let your partner clearly know your ambitions, fears, feelings, and desires. This will allow him/her to share something deeper with you as you both work together towards mastering your communication abilities.
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:29am
7) Trust One Another
Low self-esteem and a lack of trust can ruin wonderful relationships. For example, a woman I know once met this really nice, thoughtful, and sincere man. She met him via online dating - the first guy she met after spending three years healing from her last relationship. Unfortunately, she still carried baggage from the failure of her last relationship. Instead of recognizing this guy as different, she lumped all men into the same boat as her failed relationship. She was distrusting and insecure. In the end, she lost the guy as a result.
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:30am
It's important not to draw associations between the person you are currently seeing and past failed relationships. Give the person an honest chance. I live by the philosophy that I will fully trust a person until they give me a reason not to. This philosophy is very important in long distance relationships because if you start to lose trust and become insecure then your relationship will soon be sabotaged... by you.
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:32am
8) Plan Regular Meetings
Meeting regularly is vital to the success of your long-distance relationship. As discussed in tip 1, it's important to set parameters on things like when you'll meet and how often. And when you settle on a date, it's very important that you make sure nothing interferes with it. When you cancel an in-person meeting (My friends invited me to the coast that weekend or I didn't realize finals were that week) you send a strong message that the relationship is not a priority in your life. You should be canceling other events in order to see your partner. If you're allowing other events to interfere with your get-togethers, then then you might want to reevaluate why you're in a relationship. *
oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:38am
9) Share Passions
The great thing about long-distance relationships is that you tend to get to know your partner much better than if you were physically together. As a result, you learn much more about your partner's likes, dislikes, and passions. Find something your partner is passionate about that you can get involved with. For example, maybe your partner really loves tennis and you've never played tennis. Start taking tennis lessons and discuss it with your partner. Find passions that you both can share and it will invigorate your feelings and appreciation for the relationship.
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:39am
10) Surprise!
You often hear people say, I love surprises. Surprises are fun because they are unexpected and show how thoughtful/fun a person is. Think of things you can do that will surprise your partner. But don't overdue it because then they'll come to expect surprises. Here are a few ideas you may want to consider:
A classified ad in their local newspaper with a message just for them.
An unexpected trip to see your partner.
A video tape recording of you delivering a personal message and showing off some of your a day in the life of me events.
A set of gifts that you give your partner when he/she leaves (after meeting you in person). The number of gifts correspond to the number of weeks until you see each other again. For example, if you will see each other again in eight weeks then you give your partner eight gifts, each one numbered. Every Monday morning he/she gets to open one of the gifts. It builds anti tion and increases your thoughtfulness skill in your partner's eyes.
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oubaas 26.12.08 - 11:47am
Your long distance relationship can work if you put the time and effort into making it work. As Dr. Phil says, If you're in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon...
Source http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/features/longdistancerelationships.html and was posted at OUBAAS WAPGROUP http://oubaas.wapgroups.com
This topic will appear soon at Oppie Koffie Community http://oubaas. w s 3 x.com - without spaces- *
ilovejes 26.12.08 - 11:53am
Thanks oubaas..Thats very good advice.! *
oubaas 26.12.08 - 12:22pm
It is a pleasure my friend. *
7tweet4 28.12.08 - 02:42pm
Long distance relationship means that in whateva way u 2 try 2 comunicate 2 keep the spark goin. Let 1 anoda knw hw much they mean 2 each other.never desrespect or falsly accuse. Trust an be patience.bt 2 tel u the truth i dnt believe in long distance relationship. Its al fake *
oubaas 28.12.08 - 02:48pm
I went throuh that one huny 
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festus36 28.12.08 - 03:38pm
Commitment is d answer. Commitment on both sides, just as oubaas said. I have not been on any b4. One who has been and it worked can actually be in d best position to tell us how it works. *
oubaas 28.12.08 - 04:17pm
Thats it! Commitment! In my case I went out of my way to please the lady but I am afraid I can not say the same about her. *
ilovejes 28.12.08 - 05:32pm
Selflessness play a great roll in such a relationship. Because it takes extra effort to get to know each other,there has to be no ulteria motives from either parties.Mutual respect nd the ability to forget ur own agendas. willingness to give ur all and to do wathsoever u can to bring harmony and a sence of security into the relationship is vital. Its difficult to love someone who is far away, so its beter to start of as friends, and grow from there...
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oubaas 29.12.08 - 04:08am
Good idea. *
dubbonsw 30.12.08 - 06:58am
I hav been a long distant relationship n it failed big time n took abt 2yrs to get over her that was in 1979 if we had mobil phs back then yer may hav been different i do belive they can work only if v love is real n true n u have v will to say no to temtations frm others i think trust honesty n faithfullness in v main thing u must have for any relationship to work weather distant or not *
ilovejes 30.12.08 - 01:49pm
Thanks
a Million to u all for valuable input.
With ur great advise nd tips relationships will become healthier! And... Hopefully new relationships r in the horizon
??? *
oubaas 30.12.08 - 02:32pm
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joy10 28.04.11 - 12:49am
I do not know how it feels cos im single.well thanks for ur wonderful lessons as i cope to learn more. *
